Last Friday, Tyra Banks shared findings from a study her show conducted on the social and sexual experiences of 10,000 young women.

Among the findings:

* On average, girls are losing their virginity at 15 years of age.
* 14 percent of teens who are having sex say they’re doing it at school.
* 52 percent of survey respondents say they do not use protection when having sex.
* One in three says she fears having a sexually transmitted disease.
* 24 percent of teens with STDs say they still have unprotected sex.

Tyra was evidently surprised by these datapoints. Not surprisingly, I’m not. What Tyra’s show found mirrored what Abigail and I uncovered reporting and writing Restless Virgins. Doesn’t this comment, which Tyra later made to Matt Lauer on the Today show, sound familiar?

“[Teens] are not talking to their parents; they’re embarrassed to talk to their parents,” Banks said. “And more than them being embarrassed to talk to their parents, their parents are embarrassed to talk to them. So they’re finding all [about] sex education with their friends, with their peers.”

Tyra’s findings strengthen the message we’ve been trying to get out for the past 14 months since our book first came out: many kids are engaging in risky behavior, and many parents are sitting by, passively. It’s wonderful that Tyra is taking this issue to heart, and using her popular tv show to broadcast the issue. But more than sounding the alarm she - and we - need to do something.

There’s no one answer - it’s hard to talk about sex! - and certainly we’ve put forth many ideas here. But we need more. So if you have one you want to share, please email us.

Last week, Mariah Carey announced that she and her new husband, Nick Cannon, waited to have sex until marriage. Whether or not you believe her is hardly the point. Carey joins a growing list of Hollywood celebs (think: Selena Gomez, Miley Cyrus, and the Jonas Brothers) who are publicizing their decisions to wait. Granted, most of these stars are teenagers (Carey is in her late thirties and on her second marriage; it’s a safe bet she’s not a virgin), but this public pursuit of purity has gotten a lot of attention.

The Jonas Brothers’ may be fully committed to abstinence, but their performances are, ironically, all about sex. Case in point: the 2008 MTV Video Music Awards. There the boys are, singing on stage, arching their backs, enticing a crowd of screaming females. We’re supposed to think that their performance is not sexual because they wear purity rings, but in front of the band is a crowd of girls who watch, cry, and shriek with gyrating hips. It’s basically one big hypothetical orgasm, sans contact.

Will the virginity pledges work? Last year, the Washington Post reported that a congressional study determined that abstinence-only education does not stop teens from having sex, nor does it increase or decrease the likelihood that a teenager will use condoms. But “American Idol” winner Jordan Sparks thinks such pledges are legit. After MTV VMA host Russell Brand mocked the Jonas Brothers for their purity, Sparks famously said, “I just have one thing to say about promise rings. It’s not bad to wear a promise ring, because not everybody, guy or girl, wants to be a slut.”

The misconception is, of course, obvious; having sex and hooking up in high school doesn’t necessarily mean you’re a slut.

What teens watch and do on television - and the computer - have a lasting impact on their behavior. Last week, Abigail wrote about a study linking sexual content on TV with teenage pregnancy. Well, this week it’s all about linking violent video games - like Halo, a video game popular with the boys in our book, and Halo 2 and 3, games popular today - with violent behavior. Teens are what they see, it seems.

A new study out this month in Pediatrics reveals that when tweens and teens are exposed to violent behavior in video games, they tend to become violent and aggressive themselves. Researchers conducted the study on teens in Japan and the United States over a school year, and concluded that across cultures, “playing violent video games is a significant risk factor for later physically aggressive behavior.”

Halo is just one series in a crowded market of violent games. Thought it’s rated M (for Mature, because of its blood, gore, mild language, and violence) and “may be suitable for persons ages 17 and older,” there’s little blocking a younger teen from accessing the game, and then imitating it later on.

We shouldn’t be surprised by this. It’s a straight forward case of monkey see, monkey do. We can’t expect that teens will instinctively know that what they see is not what they should do. So we need to be mindful of what media they’re exposed to, and continue talking with them about it, too.

Teens who watch television with more sexual content are twice as likely to experience a pregnancy as teens who watch less sexual content, a new Rand Corporation study reports.

The news comes during a year that witnessed the pregnancies of high profile teenagers Jamie Lynne Spears and Bristol Palin - who no doubt play into the media’s focus on sex, or at least its potential consequences - not to mention the 18 teens in Gloucester, MA. A few years ago, a Kaiser Family Foundation study found that sex scenes on television doubled between 1998 and 2005, with primetime television shows averaging nearly 6 sexual scenes per hour. That was before Gossip Girl and the new 90210.

The Rand researchers advocate for exactly what Marissa and I have been suggesting ever since Restless Virgins came out last fall: Parents must talk with their children. So watch Gossip Girl, the Real World, and all the other shows that showcase or romanticize sex. It may be impossible to control what your teen watches on YouTube or downloads off of iTunes, but parents CAN be there for their children. If they aren’t, these TV shows will be.

One final thought: On October 27, the Candies Foundation ran a full-page ad in the New York Times about teenage pregnancy, which began, in large white and pink letters, “AMERICA, WAKE-UP! WE HAVE AN EPIDEMIC!” Take a look below, and talk about it with your teens:

For more on the following startling news story, click here to read the rest of my blog on the Huffington Post:

“The news is staggering: As many as 50 teenagers at Normandy High School in St. Louis, Missouri, may have been exposed to HIV. The school, which has a student body of 1,300, set up a testing center in the gym for its students; after consulting with a representative from the St. Louis County Health Department, the girls and boys are then tested with a mouth swab. The kicker? Students only have to get tested if they want to. “It’s entirely up to the student,” said Normandy School District spokesman Doug Hochstedler. “There’s a lot of stigma associated with this.”

When it comes to a child’s health, stigma shouldn’t matter. All fifty of those potentially infected students must be tested, and the same goes for the entire student body. Furthermore, Normandy High School officials should have come out strong, advocating for openness, pushing sex education, and acknowledging the problems and pressures of teenage life. Instead, the circumstances surrounding the HIV scare are murky at best.”

When parents lose their jobs, homes, and retirement accounts, how do teens respond? Last week the Minneapolis Tribune published interesting data from the Michael Cohen Group, a NY-based consulting firm that specializes in education and child development. Among the group’s findings:

- 68% of teens in a sample of 500 say the current economic situation would have immediate negative impact on them and their families.

- 58% are very concerned about their family finances.

- 75% of teens say the current economic crisis would have future negative impact on them and their families.

With so many teens sensing the enormous impact of the financial crisis on their families’ lives, it seems that now is as good as time as any to talk about risk. Yes, we tend to focus on sexual risk on this blog, but there are so many other risks to talk about, too — risks around drinking, using drugs, driving, and yes, charging credit cards. Risk is risk.

So back to the money. Here’s a great reference for parents from the Wall Street Journal this weekend on how to have “the talk” with teens — about finances, that is.

On Tuesday night, I watched the new episode of “Without A Trace,” the CBS drama about a team of FBI agents tracking down missing persons. This episode follows a teenage boy who gets straight A’s and strives to please his father—until he catches his dad having an affair. What comes next is a swamp of troubled behavior: The boy hacks into his high school computer system to steal exams for students, stops studying, impregnates his girlfriend (admittedly an accident), and then, in a change of heart, after discovering the apartment his father keeps for his mistress, the boy loses all hope, stops dealing exams, and tries to convince his best friend that she shouldn’t cheat to get into college—that there are much more important things in life than not getting into Cornell. The result? He disappears.

Teenage pregnancy, cheating, and college acceptances? Welcome to teenage life. Though the details of this boy’s life may be extreme, his desperation is quite real. Over the past couple of years, I’ve noticed that many TV shows, including “Without A Trace” as well as the “Law and Order” and “CSI” families, focus on the troubles and tests of adolescence. Just another reminder that being a teenager is fraught with challenges that even adults would have trouble enduring.

Last week Rhode Island passed an important new law to prevent dating and domestic violence: the Lindsay Ann Burke Act, named after a 23-year-old North Kingston girl who died at the hands of her abusive boyfriend. Under the law, public middle and high schools across the state will be required to teach teens about how to avoid and prevent abusive relationships.

According to the Family Violence Prevention Fund, teens 16-24 are very likely to encounter what is called “intimate partner abuse.” So abuse education early on is imperative. The Fund points to one study that shows 25% of 8th and 9th graders have experienced some form of dating violence. More states need to step up to the plate and take proactive steps to prevent such tragedies.

Your teenage daughter wants a new iPhone AND a new laptop AND a trendy laptop case. But there are tennis lessons to pay for, not to mention SAT tutoring, college visits, and every other expense involved in raising an active, competitive teen today. So you say “no” to the iPhone AND the laptop AND that trendy laptop case. Her reaction? Total and utter shock.

This past Sunday, the New York Times ran an article about the intersection of the economy, teenagers, and our culture of instant gratification. To read more about how teens and parents are affected, click here.

The early ’90s mantra - Let’s Talk About Sex - is making a comeback on MTV. But the group Salt n’ Pepa has little to do with it. What am I talking about? A new MTV reality series featuring teens, their parents, and sex and relationship expert Dr. Drew Pinsky (aka “Dr. Drew”). The show, called “Sex…with Mom and Dad” vows to fill a void in sexual health education and awareness — by encouraging parents and their teenage children to talk about sex.

New episodes air this Sunday, and here’s a trailer. What do you think?

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