Oct
30
For more on the following startling news story, click here to read the rest of my blog on the Huffington Post:
“The news is staggering: As many as 50 teenagers at Normandy High School in St. Louis, Missouri, may have been exposed to HIV. The school, which has a student body of 1,300, set up a testing center in the gym for its students; after consulting with a representative from the St. Louis County Health Department, the girls and boys are then tested with a mouth swab. The kicker? Students only have to get tested if they want to. “It’s entirely up to the student,” said Normandy School District spokesman Doug Hochstedler. “There’s a lot of stigma associated with this.”
When it comes to a child’s health, stigma shouldn’t matter. All fifty of those potentially infected students must be tested, and the same goes for the entire student body. Furthermore, Normandy High School officials should have come out strong, advocating for openness, pushing sex education, and acknowledging the problems and pressures of teenage life. Instead, the circumstances surrounding the HIV scare are murky at best.”
Oct
28
When parents lose their jobs, homes, and retirement accounts, how do teens respond? Last week the Minneapolis Tribune published interesting data from the Michael Cohen Group, a NY-based consulting firm that specializes in education and child development. Among the group’s findings:
- 68% of teens in a sample of 500 say the current economic situation would have immediate negative impact on them and their families.
- 58% are very concerned about their family finances.
- 75% of teens say the current economic crisis would have future negative impact on them and their families.
With so many teens sensing the enormous impact of the financial crisis on their families’ lives, it seems that now is as good as time as any to talk about risk. Yes, we tend to focus on sexual risk on this blog, but there are so many other risks to talk about, too — risks around drinking, using drugs, driving, and yes, charging credit cards. Risk is risk.
So back to the money. Here’s a great reference for parents from the Wall Street Journal this weekend on how to have “the talk” with teens — about finances, that is.
Oct
23
On Tuesday night, I watched the new episode of “Without A Trace,” the CBS drama about a team of FBI agents tracking down missing persons. This episode follows a teenage boy who gets straight A’s and strives to please his father—until he catches his dad having an affair. What comes next is a swamp of troubled behavior: The boy hacks into his high school computer system to steal exams for students, stops studying, impregnates his girlfriend (admittedly an accident), and then, in a change of heart, after discovering the apartment his father keeps for his mistress, the boy loses all hope, stops dealing exams, and tries to convince his best friend that she shouldn’t cheat to get into college—that there are much more important things in life than not getting into Cornell. The result? He disappears.
Teenage pregnancy, cheating, and college acceptances? Welcome to teenage life. Though the details of this boy’s life may be extreme, his desperation is quite real. Over the past couple of years, I’ve noticed that many TV shows, including “Without A Trace” as well as the “Law and Order” and “CSI” families, focus on the troubles and tests of adolescence. Just another reminder that being a teenager is fraught with challenges that even adults would have trouble enduring.
Oct
15
Last week Rhode Island passed an important new law to prevent dating and domestic violence: the Lindsay Ann Burke Act, named after a 23-year-old North Kingston girl who died at the hands of her abusive boyfriend. Under the law, public middle and high schools across the state will be required to teach teens about how to avoid and prevent abusive relationships.
According to the Family Violence Prevention Fund, teens 16-24 are very likely to encounter what is called “intimate partner abuse.” So abuse education early on is imperative. The Fund points to one study that shows 25% of 8th and 9th graders have experienced some form of dating violence. More states need to step up to the plate and take proactive steps to prevent such tragedies.
Oct
14
Your teenage daughter wants a new iPhone AND a new laptop AND a trendy laptop case. But there are tennis lessons to pay for, not to mention SAT tutoring, college visits, and every other expense involved in raising an active, competitive teen today. So you say “no” to the iPhone AND the laptop AND that trendy laptop case. Her reaction? Total and utter shock.
This past Sunday, the New York Times ran an article about the intersection of the economy, teenagers, and our culture of instant gratification. To read more about how teens and parents are affected, click here.
Oct
10
The early ’90s mantra - Let’s Talk About Sex - is making a comeback on MTV. But the group Salt n’ Pepa has little to do with it. What am I talking about? A new MTV reality series featuring teens, their parents, and sex and relationship expert Dr. Drew Pinsky (aka “Dr. Drew”). The show, called “Sex…with Mom and Dad” vows to fill a void in sexual health education and awareness — by encouraging parents and their teenage children to talk about sex.
New episodes air this Sunday, and here’s a trailer. What do you think?
Oct
9
According to today’s New York Times, the Bush administration is now cutting off contraceptive supplies to “some of the world’s poorest women in Africa.” Nicholas Kristof writes:
“There is something about reproductive health—maybe the sex part—that makes some Americans froth and go crazy. We see it in the opposition to condoms to curb AIDS in Africa and in the insistence on abstinence-only sex education in American classrooms (one reason American teenage pregnancy rates are more than double those in Canada). And we see it in the decision of some towns—like Wasilla, Alaska, when Sarah Palin was mayor there—to bill rape victims for the kits used to gather evidence of sex crimes. … The latest bout of reproductive-health madness came in the last couple of weeks when the U.S. Agency for International Development ordered six African countries to ensure that no U.S.-financed condoms, birth control pills, I.U.D.’s or other contraceptives are furnished to Marie Stopes International, a British-based aid group that operates clinics in poor countries.”
To find out why—and to understand why this is a disastrous decision—click here.
Oct
9
After a tumultuous year spent in international headlines, Gloucester, MA, the community now known for its 18 pregnant teenage girls, is back in the limelight, and for good reason. Yesterday, the School Committee voted to permit the local high school to distribute contraceptives to students who have parental consent.
The Committee made an important and necessary decision. Regardless of your religious views—or your belief that your teen is not sexually active—you must realize that no teenager, not even one wearing a purity ring, is immune to sexual desire or pressure. Teens in Gloucester and every other community in the country should have access to birth control.
Not convinced? Just ask the girls and boys of Gloucester High. According to a recent high school survey, 86 percent of students believe contraceptives SHOULD be available in school. Furthermore, 49 percent are UNCOMFORTABLE discussing sex with their parents. As Gloucester High School Superintendent Christopher Farmer said, “People are increasingly realizing the lives of adolescents now are very complex. We have a significant number of teenagers who are sexually active.”
Still not convinced? Read Restless Virgins. For more on this news story, click here.
Oct
7
Over the past year, many RV readers have asked me the same question: What happens when the girls in your book go to college?
Earlier this fall, in an article for the Washington Post, writer Ashley Samelson unveiled a laundry list of examples of college women misbehaving. From encouraging promiscuous behavior to binge drinking to degrading theme party costumes, young women, she argued, contribute to their own culture of pressure and promiscuity.
Her solution? Religion. As a self-described “reserved evangelical,” Samelson says that young women attending religious or conservative colleges often make healthier choices and have more supportive friends. Such schools are certainly not for everyone, but Samelson makes an interesting observation about the positive social experiences girls have at these institutions. Still, I can’t help but wonder if she’s idealized the situation.
Restless Virgins revealed the truth behind the fantasy that your daughter (or sister, best friend, or peer at a religious school) is virginal and good. The truth is that no teen—or young woman—is immune to social and sexual pressures. I see Samelson’s point, though through a thick veil of reality. Read more here and let me know what you think.
Oct
6
An important perspective to consider from the Boston Globe today:
“When it comes to sexuality and a myriad of other transitional health issues, developing teens must see their pediatrician as their personal doctor - not their mother’s or father’s. One approach is to ask parents to wait in the waiting room, to allow for a one-on-one, teen-to-doctor, talk. Parents can be consulted before or after the exam. I see both adolescent boys and girls in my practice, and addressing their sexuality is important for both - although the issue tends to weigh more heavily on the adolescent girls, as they are most often the ones left with the responsibility for the pregnancy.
The one-on-one approach is used with teens as young as 11, to establish a zone of privacy and confidentiality that they can build on in the following years, when they may need help with contraception, sexual identity, drug use, or other sensitive matters.”
Read the full article here.
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